226 - Drizzly Bear

Gloomy outside. It's four(ish) days to Christmas and almost 70 degrees out, but rainy. Supposed to have thunderstorms tonight. The rest of the week is going to be colder so it was nice to go outside and take Bo for a couple of walks between drizzly spells.

Honestly, because he goes to the bathroom so often that I don't much look forward to taking him out, but he does make me smile on walks and I try to remember to make time for it... it's not that I don't have the time, it's just not quite a habit for me yet. I do like walks with Bo if it's not too cold. Not the pulling, the pulling annoys me... but when he swoops down and grabs a stick or a pine cone and trots down the road, tail wagging, proud as can be with his prize. And if he's not caught up in sniffing out the goings on of other animals on the side of the road, he'll sometimes pause and tear into the pinecone. I don't know how he does it, they're prickly, but he curls his paws around it and nips at it, pulling it apart like there are no pointy pieces stabbing him in the mouth as he does so. Sometimes he tries to sneak one into the house and doesn't quite understand why I take his prize and toss it unceremoniously back into the yard. Been there, done that, cleaned up the mess.

His curiosity about the cows is cute too. He watches them and sometimes climbs the embankment to bounce through the grass like he's one of the herd. Scares the calves, poor things. I just make sure he doesn't get too close to the electrical wire and let the entertainment happen. Once they run away he sticks his nose as deep into the grass as it will go and snuffle-snorts his way along until he bounds back down to the pavement.

Lately on the return trip he's been grabbing the leash with his mouth to lead me home. Sometimes he'll be playful, running around and bowing at me, but more often than not he just grabs it and prances back home, walking me right to the door.

If it weren't for Bo I might go crazy out here. Kind of a paradox huh? Since he also drives me crazy sometimes.

Baked potato for dinner.

I made beef stroganoff last night, but it seemed like a potato night so I'll have leftover stroganoff for dinner tomorrow (and another meal or two), and probably a salad for lunch. I don't know why but I will choose potatoes over almost anything else. I'm like the Bubba Gump of potatoes... I like them boiled, fried, baked, shredded, mashed, au gratin, roasted... as long as it's a potato I'm happy. Tonight's version is hassle-backed with parmesan and butter in alternating slices, then I chopped some chicken I cooked the other day and topped it with cheese. It's tasty. Bo is currently pawing at me to share... not happening. He has started a new phase of grabbing with his paws and claws by curling them under and drawing whatever he's grabbing at toward him. But he's a good puppy, he backs off when he's told. Maybe not for long, but at least he does for a while.

Got a card from the vet's office today... made me cry for the first time in a couple of days. I've been better but still have moments where I think of her and get sad. It wasn't so much the card, but what Dr. D wrote. And that the cat on the front bears a slight resemblance to Gracie. (the ball of light is from the flash, not part of the picture on the card)

On tonight's agenda, prepping Bo's beef stew (beef and carrots simmered for a while with the broth I had leftover from something else, and water), added a slurry of flour and water to thicken it a smidge, then bulgur wheat and a little cheese... mixed with some of his kibble. I need to get more veggies when I go to the store. Until I get the supplements to make sure he's getting all the vitamins he needs and/or until I run out of this bag of kibble, he'll be eating a mixture of both. He won't miss the kibble. As it is I'm picking up little pieces that he nibbles and spits onto the rug. Spoiled. And I'll tell you - the chicken jerky and sweet potato jerky are a HIT. He tries to hunt those down to feed himself when I'm not looking. He doesn't chew the chicken very much, twice, maybe three times. The sweet potato gets a little more mastication. It's a wonder he doesn't have more gas than he does - which actually seems less lately.

He seems to like it:  http://youtu.be/bozZ-BBzEaM

After that... Pinterest and movies... yipee. Red hot Saturday night. ;)

225 - AD

More cool moon shots. Last night the mist in the air made for a really neat effect.

And there was something squeaky in the yard. Bo didn't seem to care so neither did I.

The end.

224 - Clean it up

Today I cleaned out the refrigerator. Still had some Thanksgiving stuff in there so it really needed to be done. That was pretty much the big project. That and chicken jerky for Bo, which is just thinly sliced chicken dehydrated.

But tonight was actually interesting. There is a full moon out there. And we have trees.

Only thing missing from this one is a cat.

This one just turned out to be a neat picture. When you enlarge it, it's almost like there are skeletal hands cradling the moon.

And just a shot to see if I could get the shadows on the moon with my camera.

This one looks like a great winged beast is flying across the moon.

Other than that, I made soft pretzels for dinner. Last night I made wings and fries and I perfected the Wingstop season salt - that is a beautiful thing... now when I figure out their ranch dressing recipe I can conquer the world! I had leftover oil from frying some appetizers a few days ago, so I used it for the wings and fries. Typically I've been baking both, which I also enjoy and do more often since I don't have to deal with the oil and because it's healthier.

Well... that's it for tonight. Other stuff going on here and there but nothing I want to put into a blog, so I'm going to return to what I was doing... clearing out the backlog on the DVR. Maybe tomorrow I'll start collecting treetops and staging them to be cut. Since they select cut the land before they sold the house there are lots of treetops laying around making the place look extra scrubby. I'll probably do what I can with a branch cutter and let Mike go to town on the rest with his chainsaw when he gets home. Or maybe I won't. But I probably will. Because I'm a little bored sometimes and there is stuff that needs to be done while it's relatively nice out.

223 - Another Sunday

Not much to report today... was colder than I expected it to be and I saw a couple of snow flurries when I took Bo out. More little birds stopped by, and while there is a feeder I also threw some food into the yard because it seems like they prefer eating from the ground.

Made some larb for lunch, it's sort of like the filling for a chicken lettuce wrap. I didn't have ground chicken so I used ground pork, no mint so I used basil, no rice flour so I made my own by toasting some rice and putting it into the blender. It was pretty good, but chicken would have been better.

Bo was running out of food and I ran out of cash (I don't have a debit card for the account with the money in it) so I used what I had on hand and made something for him. I looked online at various recipes and settled on a chicken and rice based dish with gravy. He snarfed it up and wanted more. All in all, it's a little more work but costs less than the tubs of wet food we're currently feeding him, and it doesn't have all the junk in it, so I will probably be doing it from now on. Also going to make some treats and chicken jerky for him. Jerky costs a mint and you can't trust what you buy in the stores these days. I like the idea of saving money and being able to feed him a better quality meal. He still gets the dry puppy food mixed in with it so he's getting the nutrients he needs for his age. So far... his digestive system hasn't rebelled... It's all stuff he's been eating anyway, so here's hoping everything goes well. (fingers crossed)

And other than that, just regular day to day stuff... keeping house, taking care of the animals, keeping my mind occupied as much as possible. Thank goodness for Pinterest... hours of entertainment.

222 - Untitled

Still here, just blah and going through the motions. I am making myself do what has to be done but would just rather stay in bed all day moping. I am better than I was on Wednesday so I'll get there, it's just fresh and still hurts. The vet called today, Gracie's ashes are ready to be picked up... maybe once I sprinkle her ashes, the ritual of letting go will help.

I had been thinking about keeping some of Gracie's ashes and after Ms. A mentioned cremation jewelry I started browsing the web to see what was out there. Lots of neat stuff but it was hard to find something that really called to me. In the end I found these two. They're perfume pendants but will work since they are hollow. I couldn't decide between them so I bought both (they weren't very expensive). The top one appeals to me more, but the bottom one is more delicate and has Gracie's coloring.

Some of the snow is still on the ground from Wednesday's snowfall. It's a good way to visualize where the sun hits our property throughout the day, because the snowy areas are shaded. Helps me with garden planning in a way I hadn't expected.

We have the cutest little birds in the yard. The kittens are entranced by them, it's like free kitty daycare. Gracie would be up there chattering away with her tail swishing, just itching to get at them. Walter and Bootsie seem mostly content to just watch them, although Bootsie did try to dive after some of them once.

Last night Bo was intently watching me as I dipped my carrot in some onion dip and ate it (i.e. all up in my business). I looked it up online and it's okay to give carrots to your dogs... so I gave him the carrot top. At first I had high hopes for it, he sniffed it, then gingerly bit into it... it was almost like a fresh, healthier rawhide because he was spending time nibbling at it and seemed to enjoy himself. I was thrilled as I'd been looking for ways to entertain him... with the weather being cold and/or wet we don't go outside much and I know he's bored. As you can see, he didn't eat it, he just shredded it and it became a mess for me to clean up. Bo - 1, Kristy - 0. So my conclusion - I may do the carrot thing again, but carrots will be an outside treat.

Other than that I've been browsing Pinterest like it's my job. I'm trying to find recipes I can make from freeze dried or shelf stable ingredients and send to Mike since the food out there is not up to par. And in case mom and dad come for Christmas I have been planning which snacks to make; even if they can't make it I might make the usual Christmas Eve snack smorgasbord just to do it. Just doesn't feel like Christmas this year no matter how many Hallmark movies I watch, but I'll do what I can. Just a lot of stuff going on I suppose.

221 - Rest in Peace

Gracie was born September 10, 2007, I know because I was there when it happened.

As she grew into kittenhood she was the adventurous one, leading the expedition while her brother and sister toddled after her. And she was vocal. I almost didn't keep her because she had too much to say and I thought it would get on my nerves... but when I looked into her gorgeous blue eyes and felt her fur, soft as a spiderweb, I knew she was the one. I never, ever regretted that decision; she was perfect.

When I named her Gracie it was meant to be ironic because she wasn't the most surefooted of kittens. Some of that clumsiness followed her into adulthood. Don't get me wrong, she had very catlike graceful moments, but then she got too sure of herself and she'd slip and I'd be reminded why I named her Gracie in the first place. Typical of cats, if she stumbled she'd stop and lick her fur like nothing had happened, glancing at us out of the corner of her to see if we understood that she did it on purpose.

My favorite Gracie story is something of a segue into all of the ridiculous nicknames I gave her over the years: I was in the habit of closing my bedroom door before I left for work so that I would have one cat-free sanctuary in the house. Sammy and Gracie would be in there with me while I got ready for work, but I would shoo them out as I left. One day I came home and Gracie was in the room waiting for me, she must have hidden under the bed or in the closet when I wasn't looking and had been stuck in the room all day. I went to the bathroom and there was a wash cloth in the sink... I hadn't put it there. I lifted it up and there was cat poop underneath. Gross yes... but how smart - she pooped in the sink and drug the washcloth over to cover it up since there was no litter to do it with. I was so damn proud of her. Disgusted, but proud. I decided I didn't need a sanctuary anymore.

Her poop led to a variety of nicknames throughout the years: Grac-i-poops, Poopzilla, Poopzzarella, Poopsicle, Princess Poopy Pants. Her favorite seemed to be Boo Bears. When she wouldn't respond to any other name she would usually turn her head if I called her that. Graciela was when she was bad, but she rarely ever got called by that name. When I was giving her Gracie-lovins I called her My Bootifuls. She loved to be scratched on her left cheek, she leaned into it to the point that she would almost flip over, and usually my hand would give out before she would. She also loved to have her chin rubbed. She would purr the whole time and sometimes we would blink our eyes slowly at each other because that's one of the ways she showed affection. She was rarely vocal as an adult, but if I hadn't scratched to her satisfaction she would let me know with a short reprimanding meow. And I always knew if someone was at the door because she'd give a disgusted growl before she belly crawled to the bedroom.

When Mike first moved in he grew exasperated with her. She would always run away when he attempted to approach her. She pretty much ran away from everyone because that was her nature. One day I told him that if she ran to the right and hid under the guest bed, she was truly running away, but if she ran to the left and jumped on the desk she was flirting, it was an invitation for him to follow. Sure enough, he followed her in and she sat there while he scratched her head. She loved the desk and would sit staring out the window for hours. Because he was gone so much in the beginning I was afraid we'd start at square one every time, but she remembered him and she loved him. More than that, she trusted him and her trust was hard won.

She loved birds. Or loved to catch them rather. She and Sammy (her mom) caught a hummingbird and brought it into the house to chase after Hurricane Ike. Then she caught a pigeon that same day. When we played, she wasn't much interested in chasing things across the floor, but if you threw a fuzzy ball or Fishy she would jump as high as she could and her eyes were on the prize. It was impressive to watch, and in those moments her name suited her to a T. She was graceful and quick, a true huntress.

She wasn't a lap cat though I tried my best to make her one. The only time she got in my lap was when we were on the road and she was nervous about something. She wasn't fond of travel, but she was a trooper about it and didn't complain too much about our year on the road. She had her routine, which once again involved poop, but once she settled down she earned a new nickname - Console Kitty, because she was content to perch on the console of the truck and let Mike and I scratch her head. She saw most of the southeastern United States before we settled here, which included lots of wildlife. The cranes got her excited, the cows made her nervous. We asked a lot of her in the last year and she surprised me by how quickly she adapted. I was proud of my little girl.

Shortly after we moved into the house and brought the dog and two kittens into the house, she stopped eating. I will never know why and sometimes I wonder if they ate her food and we just didn't realize it... but the result was the same, she developed Fatty Liver Disease. I started treating her at home, then hospitalized her, then brought her home again. She was doing better, eating on her own, drinking water, gaining weight and her skin wasn't yellow anymore. I just knew she was going to beat it. She was purring again, pressing her face into my hand, and I realized how much I missed that. Then one day she stopped eating again, and while I tried every food I could think of, and eventually resorted back to syringe feeding, she just wasn't getting any better. She was weak, she wouldn't open her mouth so I could feed her anymore and her eyes were getting dark. I felt forcing her would be cruel and counterproductive. I debated whether to try harder or let her go; this disease is a monster... you have good days and bad days and it's so much harder to know when to stop. Ultimately I honored her decision and took her to the vet this morning.

She passed before they could get the IV in.

Dr. Dingfelder once joked that Gracie had begun to associate her with syringe feeding and would start to puke as soon as she saw her coming... in one final act of defiance, as soon as Dr. D picked her up, she puked. It was heartbreaking but in retrospect it's kind of funny that she still reacted that way to Dr D (who is nice as can be). So Gracie went on her own terms. She didn't complain until the very end which lets me know that everything happened when it was supposed to. I didn't put her down earlier because I wanted to know the time was right and I wasn't killing a cat who could recover, I wanted to give her the chance to live. I got to say goodbye, to tell her how much she meant to me and I was there until the very end, so even though it's still very sad, and I'm surprised that I have any tears left, I at least feel like I handled it right this time.

I've arranged to have her cremated and plan to sprinkle her ashes under the magnolia tree because that's where the birds are and that's where I think she'd want to be. I miss her so much already. She was the most patient, gentle, beautiful and independent cat I've known and I wish we'd gotten to grow old together like I always assumed we would. I was there to see her born and we had such a unique bond, one that I'll never have again. It was such a cool thing to watch her grow, and while I know that I failed her miserably at times, I always had the best intentions and she forgave me for not being perfect because she must have known how much I loved her.

Rest in peace Boo Bears.

Seven weeks old

Playing hide and seek

Console Kitty

Bootifuls hanging by the window

Another day in the RV park entertaining mom

Keepin' it clean

Sept 10, 2007 - Dec 11, 2013

220 - Brrr

Not much to say today... cold... rainy... Mike installed the cat door leading to the basement so we can move the litterbox out of the living area. I made beans and rice and cornbread for dinner. We walked down to our small rivulet and it was flowing nicely. I love our property even more.

Pictures of the grandchild.

Stupid raindrop on the lens... but you can see the water and that's what I was going for.