235 - A Breath of Fresh Air

This year I only made one resolution - to learn one thing every day that will help me become more grounded, that can be self-help-y type stuff, or watching a module in my gardening course, or even reading in the bathtub to relax. I used to set aside time every day to light candles, close my eyes and listen to soothing music (classical, new age, etc.) and I realized I haven't done that in a loooooong time. Television has become my electronic babysitter and for some reason, instead of quiet and introspection, I need to hear the background noise and am loathe to leave its comforting jabber.

So far I have reacquainted myself with alternate nostril breathing, which I first learned through yoga, watched a video about reiki, explored energy healing, listened to a course on detoxification and tried meditation. Bo and I have been taking more walks to get out the house and get some exercise. I'm am also taking probiotics again. With all the stress I've had in my life the last couple of years, I think these things are important. Today I am learning how to breathe properly.

When I exercise I am aware of my breathing: exhale when you exert yourself or contract a muscle, breathe to assist the body and enhance your workout. But on a daily basis I take shallow breaths. I am aware of it but never change it, and when I do breathe deeply it feels strange and even makes me a little dizzy because I'm not used to so much oxygen... may be part of the reason I feel sluggish all the time. I primarily breathe within my chest, but I should breathe with my belly. So that's my focus for the next few days, because breathing is such an automatic process that you don't think about how you're doing it, and changing my ways is going to take effort.

Next on my list is juicing. We bought a juicer recently and I can't wait to juice some apples and pears. I will explore with other flavors but those have always been my favorite. I am not a breakfast person... I don't mind drinking something for breakfast but I don't usually eat food, so juicing will be a great way to 'eat' something healthy. I can even replace meals on days that I don't feel like cooking, or in the summer when I want something cool. Mike is excited about it, he's been wanting a juicer for years. If we can ever get some fruit trees growing it'll even save us money. If.

And... so far, so good with the resolution. I don't really have to try to do it, things come my way each day and my goal is met. I don't always find value in them all, but it's about learning and exploration and finding out what does work.

I also realized that I have been comparing the kittens to Gracie, where they fail miserably to compare. I'm still bitter that she's gone. So I am going to try to think of them as... just kittens. And to get them neutered and see if they calm down a bit. If not, they can be indoor/outdoor cats, and they go into the basement at night... we need to partition off a space for them though, because they are tornadic and I'm also afraid that they'll one day rip into the ductwork and I'll have a moment of insanity that they mightn't survive. Today they were pretty low-key and maybe my irritation was a lessened because I was able to put them back into the basement last night instead of the room next to ours where I hear everything they knock over and every meow they (Walter) make. I flip-flop every day about what to do with them... someday I'll make up my mind. If they weren't so cute and affectionate it would be easier.