0026 - The House of Cards

Ever heard the term "putting the cart before the horse"? If you have, you can skip this blog post altogether and just do the math. Otherwise, insert a Lemony Snicket-esque word of warning about the tale being extremely woeful and bad for your psyche, and read it at the peril of your former good mood.

We thought we were doing everything right. We had discussions, mulled over the pros and cons, and we thought getting a smallish piece of property where we wanted to be was a proactive and intelligent decision. We'd put a metal storage building on it... it would (in the long run) be less expensive than renting a storage unit, and it would belong to us - possibly even increasing the resale value of our land, should we choose to go that route in the future. Basically, from here we'd be able to take our time and find the perfect piece of land, and everything else would follow in suit. Dammit, we were practically pioneers!

Yes, our first trip to the property in January was slightly terrifying, but after finding the other way down the mountain and talking to a contractor, we felt a lot better about things.  We didn't have an RV at that point, so we envisioned things as only people who have never owned an RV can foolishly imagine them... and with that mindset, we were cautiously optimistic as we made our way up the mountain this afternoon.

You view things differently when you actually have an RV... when you know how tall it is... when you know how it takes the turns... when you know how it reacts to bumps. You start to notice power lines, and tree limbs, and narrow, winding, climbing roads made of slag with no center stripe or shoulder. As we drove up this time, we decided it was manageable, and if we were going up once and not planning to come back down... it would probably even be okay... but in the transient lifestyle we foresee... it's dicey at best. As Mike says... we are the lane. There is no sharing a road.

Then we got to our property.

The "road" had been widened and cleared in January, but several months and a few storms later, a lot of the dirt had been washed away and it was narrow again, with tall weeds growing up through the middle and a small rut along the side. Truth be told... I didn't even see the "road" as we approached it. There is no way in hell an RV is going to make that.

Also, we had the land leveled and thought it ended up being fairly flush with the road, but the piece we would need to utilize in order to pull in was way too steep. As one of our new "neighbors" so aptly put it, "40-ft RV's don't bend." No they don't. It made me sick to my stomach. We've already invested enough money in that property, and we simply don't want to invest more. When Mike said it out loud, I was glad I didn't have to be the one to say it first... there's nothing we can do with it, let's sell it.

Another problem we've had is the building. I'll spare you the back story and just say that we got a 44' x 45' steel building kit - no end walls, no insulation, just the arch part with some skylights. It is supposedly super-easy to erect... bolt the arches together, raise them up and bolt them to the frame. Repeat until fully erect. (<-- humor) In total, between me, my cousin, and our dozer guy, we contacted about twenty contractors. All of them turned us down. One of them said, and I quote, "I don't want anything to do with it." So we don't even know how it's going to get put up... or where at this point. Our dozer guy offered to let us drop it off at his place, we may take him up on it just so that we don't have to worry about where to put it for now.

I'm wondering how much we could sell it for as scrap.

So at this point we're staying at an RV park, and will probably continue to stay at RV parks until we figure things out. We are meeting with a real estate agent tomorrow morning to put our property on the market. It has water and septic, our dozer guy said the county would level the "road" for us for free, and since there is someone building behind us, electric should be easily accessible to the new owner(s). With all of the improvements we've made, we hope it will go fairly quickly, but you never know. It's okay for someone who wants a get away, or is willing to do a little more work... it's just not good for us. We have special needs. I am (a) Jerry's kid after all.

We are still reeling a bit, I already had a mini-meltdown, but we think we now want to find a small piece of property that we can put the building on. Acreage doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or large because we're probably not going to be there much. We're most likely headed to Huntsville, AL because Mike is pretty sure he can get a job there... probably me too, although I'm still going to try to pursue something I can do from home. Suffice it to say that our future is very uncertain at the moment because it seems like everything we touch goes to shit in a New York minute.

Gracie is now a console kitty (Mike's nickname for her... it makes me happy that they have bonded). She spends most of her truck time on the console between Mike and I. She wanders into the back seat for a bit, but it doesn't last long. She's gotten more adept at using the litterbox while the truck is in motion, no more poop on the other side of the box. In the 5'er she hides behind the couch during the day, and sleeps by my side at night. The longer we stay in one place, the more she begins to wander. It's not her favorite way of life, but it's all new to her. She was born in my garage and never knew anything different until recently. She's a trooper.

I have started cooking dinner on a regular basis. Last night we had beans and rice with sausage. Tonight we had Manwiches with 3-bean salad and German potato salad (from a can). I'll start cooking real meals soon, but for now convenience is a big part of the decision. Tomorrow night we'll probably have bbq baked potatoes using the leftover manwich meat, and we'll use potatoes Ron sells at the store. We need to go to a grocery store and get sandwich meat so we can make our own lunches as well but that's easy enough, there is a Food Town down the road.

The good stuff... We have internet now, and the cable works. Doesn't sound important, but we pay bills and look for jobs on the internet, and since there is no cell reception where we are, it is also how we keep in touch with people. Cable keeps our minds occupied so that we don't drown in our sorrows. Right now we're watching a Joan Rivers roast... laughter helps.

We have hot water. Mike went on the forums and figured out how to turn the water heater on... it's not the switch on the main console, there is a switch on the outside of the RV, behind a panel... Showers are much more enjoyable now, but more water pressure would be good if we can figure out how to make that happen.

We keep meeting really nice people and it is lovely here. Granville is perhaps even more attractive than Gainesboro, and it is just a few miles down the road. The people at the RV park couldn't be nicer. Made in the Shade, really is just that... first RV park we've been to with actual trees. The owner is incredibly cool, and our "neighbors" are salt of the earth. He also has the best variety of grocery items in his little office, even better than the actual stores we've seen at larger RV parks... hamburger patties, hot dogs, buns, eggs, individual packets of condiments... very well thought out. We have been looking for a portable charcoal grill and were planning a trip to Walmart tomorrow... he had one for $10. And we bought some farm fresh eggs (can't wait to find a farmer's market). It's the little thoughtful touches that impressed me. Seems like others appreciate it as well, he has a handful of long-term and repeat customers, as we are likely to be.

There is also an awesome store / cafe down the road, The Granville Market Deli... very cool couple who run the place. It's within walking distance of the park. I have been talking about chili cheese fries for days, and this morning Mike went there for breakfast while I slept in and the lady was just deciding on the lunch special... which ended up being... chili cheese fries. We got one order and split it... huge plate of deliciousness - chili cheese fries with sour cream on the side, and a coke, for $5. I should have taken a picture... it really hit the spot. We'll probably head there tomorrow for breakfast before we meet the realtor... biscuits and gravy, yum.

It's funny, I told Mike that the last RV park was nice, but I got bored. It felt like we were visiting, but it didn't feel like home. This place has probably less going for it in terms of size and amenities, but it feels like we're home. People talk to you, they share stories, they offer advice. They helped me smile again when we got back from our disastrous visit. And the whole area is like a nature painting. There is a trail to the lake here at the RV park, and if you follow the road in both directions there is gorgeous lake everywhere. Add mountains and trees to the mix and this is what we came to TN for. We still hope to put down roots here, we really do. Hopefully sleeping on it tonight will bring us new perspective and a solution...