130 - Dreams

Sometimes I look at other people's lives and they seem to have it all. I know they don't, well - most of them, but you know how it is... you have perceptions and misconceptions and they are probably based on things in your own subconscious. We all have our struggles.

All I really want is a life where I have a job that doesn't crush my soul, a home that I can share with my friends and family, and time to enjoy it. A lot of that centers around the kitchen because I love to cook - won't make a career of it, but certainly enjoy entertaining. I miss having a kitchen, although I've never really had a large one. I miss throwing dinner parties. I miss hanging out with people.

Worked more on the business plan today. Getting very close to have a first draft ready for a couple of proofreaders to review. Basically waiting on insurance quotes, and have a couple of sections left to tackle... I saved the ones I was least excited about for last. I probably shouldn't have, but I did.

Will get to see my parents, and my friend Stacy soon. Our friends Chris and Raquelle will also be in the area soon. Very excited to see them and discuss the business, they're cool people and we've all been trying to figure out where to go from here, searching for something that gets us out from under other people's thumbs. We seem to have similar hopes and dreams and I think we'll work well together. And even though I'm not happy about the reason, since it's because my grandmother had a stroke, I can't say I'm not happy that I'll get to spend a little more time with my family over the next couple of months.

So that's life in a nutshell. The wind never stops, the sunny days are rare, and in a couple of weeks the scenery will change.

P.S. Cranberry wine is good. I'm liking the fruity wines: muscadine, lemon, orange, cranberry. Strawberry and blueberry are pretty good too, but not my faves. I'll probably never be a wine snob at this rate, because I can't tell you what's what beyond pinot grigio tasting of limes. For some reason I remember that out of everything I learned on one wine tour.

129 - It's Windy Again

Here I sit, listening to the wind blow... feeling the RV shake... holy cow... this is worse than ever. I think I actually felt a little lift under the RV this time. One of my friends was grousing about 70 mph winds in Austin this afternoon... I think we're getting them here now. I won't miss this. Not one little bit. In fact, I'd like to sleep some time tonight, but I'm afraid to, I'm too nervous. No one warned us about this kind of thing with an RV... Yeah, I'm a little freaked out... and that's putting it mildly. It doesn't help that the power has cut out a couple of times, I admit I'm still a little scarred by my last experience.... I flipped the breakers off for a little while.

We're heading out in about three weeks, to Mississippi, for a couple of months. Don't know what is going to happen after that. Everything is up in the air. Literally almost everything. Before we go though, my friend and her kids are going to come for a visit, and I will get to see my parents as well. I know I just saw them all, but it's always nice to see them again, and I appreciate that they make the effort.

I feel like we're on the cusp of making a change for the better. We have finally identified a business that suits us and seems profitable. I'm in the midst of writing a business plan (daunting), we visited a potential business location, we are talking to banks and realtors and I feel like we are very close to having things figured out. It's something we love, something that seems suited to the current political climate, something that seems like a great venture. It's scary, I hate taking out loans, I don't know if we can qualify, there is a lot do before we even know if we will be able to do it. The business plan says we should be okay, but it's all smoke and mirrors, pure conjecture. Sorry to be so cryptic, not ready to put it out there just yet.

Anyway, in some ways I'm looking forward to being in a house again (MS). It's not my house, but it's space. With space I can make bread, I can make pasta, I will have a real oven. Yes, it's food that I'm most excited about.

We've fallen off our diet plan and haven't quite gotten back on. Tomorrow that changes. We're not going full tilt back on the The Plan, but we are going to eat healthier home-cooked meals. Really the only places we've eaten since we've been back are the Thai restaurant we love, and the onsite cafe. The woman who runs the Thai restaurant is so amazing. She gave us a different kind of sake this time, a special sake she said, and then talked to us for almost half an hour about starting a business. I don't know what makes us special, but I appreciate that she sees it in us. It's interesting to learn from people and I like hearing what they have to say.

Okay, this blog entry sucks, but dammit this wind is jarring... I'm going to try to watch tv and drink some wine and forget about it...