0067 - Blah

Yesterday my throat got a little sore and I had a low-grade fever... just enough to put a damper on my day. If I moved around a lot, I felt sluggish, and I slept until noon so I should have felt better than that. As a result, we stayed home all day and didn't do a whole lot of anything aside from laze about, chat, watch tv, and have pasta night. I've been watching Big Love... As I've mentioned, we're pretty limited here, it's either network tv or HBOGo.com so I'm working my way through series I haven't previously seen. I had no idea what Big Love was about, but as it turns out, it's an interesting show... very thought provoking.

I've watched the reality show Sister Wives and found it fascinating how all the wives interacted with each other, and some of the trials and tribulations of a polygamist lifestyle. It's definitely not a choice I would make, I don't like to share and I don't think it's what marriage was intended to be, but to each their own. They're a likable bunch who don't seem to be hurting anyone. So anyway, after watching the reality version of polygamy, it was interesting to watch a fictionalized version and see some parallels (and a few differences) between the two.

Big Love, of course, it far more dramatic and broader in scope because it is left up to the writer's imaginations and they can draw from reality and take it in whatever direction they choose. Season one had a very interesting plot line between the patriarch of the family of main characters (Bill), and the "prophet" of the compound some of them left (Roman). It was a good yin and yang and you hated the old man, thought he was a dirty bastard, but his character was so interesting that you didn't want him to go away because the conflict brought excitement to the show. Harry Dean Stanton did a great job in the role. Bruce Dern also did a fabulous job of being someone you love to hate, just a worthless individual (he played Bill's father).

In the show, their family didn't start out as polygamist so the wife struggles with it a lot and I think that in a lot of ways, the fictionalized version of polygamy is more honest than the reality show. Cody's family gets along too well... not all the time, but the majority of the time they are far more understanding than most people would be. It may well be true that they are that well adjusted, but what I'm saying is that I can't believe all polygamists are. I don't think they are representative of the majority. In Big Love, people don't always get along, the man of the house is like a stud horse and you see the toll a schedule like that could take on a man, there is jealousy between wives because he has a different relationship with each of them, and often it is the most recent wife who gets the brunt of that, there is resentment for the first wife because she's got legal rights and more status, there is tension because Bill is married to one of the prophet's daughters and her loyalties are tested on a regular basis there are money issues, there is the problem of hiding who you are from the rest of society, the problem of being a second and third wife and never being acknowledged by your husband outside of the home, the fact that polygamy is illegal... it goes on and on.

So why would anyone choose that life? I have no answer for that. Every time I think I do, I find myself with a rebuttal. For instance, my first thought is that the men found a loophole that lets them play the field without being penalized. But then... they have to take responsibility for the additional women and children. And in many ways, they get no peace because there are several families placing demands on them rather than just one. So that doesn't really explain it in most cases, in fact it seems like a reason not to do it.

How do these newer religions like the polygamist sect of Mormons, or Scientologists come about? Or rather, when they come about, why are people so naive that they latch on to those beliefs? I actually read some of Dianetics out of curiosity, and it was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read in my life. The idea that some of your personality quirks come from being in the womb and hearing your parents having sex, or your mom screaming during the birthing process is ludicrous - especially when you don't even have ears yet and are surrounded by amniotic fluid. Or that you can remember any of it. And from what I recall, it's not your dad's fault, it's always your mom's fault. It's interesting how Mormon polygamy is the only religion that is illegal, at least that I can think of. I think it's less the plural marriage than it is the marriage of underaged girls to old men... prophets... on the compounds, but I'm not sure the law differentiates. I know the law only recognizes the marriage to the first wife and considers the rest adultery, which I suppose is also illegal? I don't know if it is or not. I also know that non-polygamist Mormons look down on the practice, too - it makes the whole religion look bad.

I think it's disgusting when people do things behind the guise of a religion (the underage marriage to lecherous old men)... but religion is misused and abused in many ways... it is used to start wars, it is used to pilfer money from people, it is used a political tool, it is used to hide the abuse of children, it is used as a way to impose morals upon people (I'm not talking about things like don't murder and don't steal... I'm talking about the choice of who to marry, the choice to use birth control... thing that should be regulated by individuals, not by churches or laws). That's not what it was intended to be. That's why many people want nothing to do with organized religion, in some ways it has become a farce... corrupted... manipulated.

I'm not saying religion is a bad thing, churches are full of good people who do good deeds, but you can't turn a blind eye to the fact that it can be abused. Religion is an easy way to control people, because they don't want to go against the word of the church, so people come along with ideas like polygamy, like signing all your possessions over to the church, like going to war, and they will always find a willing flock. Each religion gets to say "I'm right, and you're wrong," and yet many times they hold similar beliefs. That's my beef with it.

I am probably going to catch some flack from my opinions, but that's how I see it. There are two sides to every coin, just because I point out the bad doesn't mean I don't see the good.