Much like an author tears their hero down, down, down to make their triumph more dramatic... our life seems to be preparing us for something great. Something spectacular. Because we keep getting torn down.
First off, our land deal fell through. Would have been nice to have the money in the bank, but it wouldn't appraise for the price we agreed on and we've reached our limit with losing money on it, so we will keep it for $65/year in taxes.
Also, after three months of no work and little communication from Tempest, last week Mike got a call to go back to work. I was feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks because we would finally have money coming in again, and we desperately need it. But instead of instructions on where to go, this morning he was laid off instead.
There are so many irons in the fire right now, we just need one of them to come through.
I can't deal with this for much longer. I've stepped out of my comfort zone a lot recently, and on the whole it hasn't been bad, but these last few months have tested me. I don't like having to ask people for things, and I appreciate everyone who has helped us out and taken us in, but it's no way to live and I need to feel independent again. I feel like us starting our business is the answer but then the money issue rears its head again. Creditors used to throw money at me, but not so anymore. We're overloaded and I'm afraid it will stop us from getting the loans we need. And there has to be money coming in in the meantime because even when everything falls into place, it would still be 6-8 months before we could open. You see my frustration? I feel like we have an out but the road is blocked. Once again... trapped.
I don't have anything good to say right now so I'm just going to shut up until the feeling passes.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
132 - A post by any other name...
We've been in Houston for about a week now, probably be here for another few days while our truck gets fixed. We took it in Monday afternoon and the guy said it would probably be 2-3 days before he got back to us, so on Thursday afternoon I called to get a status... he has one transmission guy and he hadn't been able to look at it, was taking the weekend off and the new estimated earliest time was now sometime on Monday. In the meantime we are paying for a rental. I don't understand people these days. Good customer service (to me) would be telling us - as soon as he found out - that it was going to be a week, and if we wanted to come get our truck and drive it in the meantime instead of paying $54/day for a rental, we could keep our place in line. But maybe that's just me.
Anyway, we can't drive 600 miles with it acting the way it does, so we're stuck. Mike spoke to his boss and they may have some work in the Houston area, if that's the case it will help us out. We are running on fumes at the moment.
Mike and my sister-in-law went to Austin this weekend. I decided to stay here. It's nice to have a little time to myself, but mostly I'm tired of traveling and just didn't want to make the trip or pack again. I know in a few days we have another 10-11 hour trip ahead of us and I hope that is the last for a few weeks.
Still working on the business plan. Got more input and am taking that into consideration. It's a catch-22... keep it in Gainesboro where we initially planned it, or move to a more densely populated area. One means a more affordable building, which keeps our already large loan amounts somewhat under control... or spending more money on a smaller building where more people are closer. I think the business itself is solid, it's just a matter of being able to pay for it all and make a large enough profit to be able to pay everything back and start earning income. So yeah... catch-22.
Anyway, we can't drive 600 miles with it acting the way it does, so we're stuck. Mike spoke to his boss and they may have some work in the Houston area, if that's the case it will help us out. We are running on fumes at the moment.
Mike and my sister-in-law went to Austin this weekend. I decided to stay here. It's nice to have a little time to myself, but mostly I'm tired of traveling and just didn't want to make the trip or pack again. I know in a few days we have another 10-11 hour trip ahead of us and I hope that is the last for a few weeks.
Still working on the business plan. Got more input and am taking that into consideration. It's a catch-22... keep it in Gainesboro where we initially planned it, or move to a more densely populated area. One means a more affordable building, which keeps our already large loan amounts somewhat under control... or spending more money on a smaller building where more people are closer. I think the business itself is solid, it's just a matter of being able to pay for it all and make a large enough profit to be able to pay everything back and start earning income. So yeah... catch-22.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
131 - Welpers
Business plan is, for the most part, complete. Still waiting on actual insurance quotes, and we need to start calling our target market and see what kind of interest we can drum up (hopefully in the form of letters of intent). Still very excited about the possibility, from the standpoint that it's something we can pour our hearts into, it would truly be a labor of love, and from the standpoint that it could be good for the community (community being our new hometown as well as our friends and family). It's also scary, because in order to proceed we need approval from the franchise and the bank. A lot of approval. A lot of money.
We've thought about the idea of investors, but it's a scary thought. What do they want out of it? When do they need to be repaid? What happens if they want to be bought out? We don't want to give up control of our business. We don't want all the money due at once. Still, we are cash poor, and on paper we don't seem like a good risk. It's the business that's a good risk, it's my job to convince a bank of that, and in today's financial climate I'm not sure they're as willing to take chances. I have to hope they want to revitalize the town, bring it back to life, make it interesting.
As promising as it seems, there is a chance we could fall on our ass. In some ways we can't be much worse off than we already are, and as an LLC our personal assets should be safe, but still - banks look at your assets, they call it collateral. They must know something we don't...
I've never actually owned a business before. None of us have. I believe we have the skills and the drive to do it though. And we have people rooting for us, people with influence, and people with knowledge. I have to keep thinking about the positives and believe that we can overcome everything else.
Well... it's time to start thinking about the pitch. If we can convince the bank that we have customers, I think we'll get the loan. At least I get a positive impression from the banker I spoke with. So now, it's time to convince some customers.
We've thought about the idea of investors, but it's a scary thought. What do they want out of it? When do they need to be repaid? What happens if they want to be bought out? We don't want to give up control of our business. We don't want all the money due at once. Still, we are cash poor, and on paper we don't seem like a good risk. It's the business that's a good risk, it's my job to convince a bank of that, and in today's financial climate I'm not sure they're as willing to take chances. I have to hope they want to revitalize the town, bring it back to life, make it interesting.
As promising as it seems, there is a chance we could fall on our ass. In some ways we can't be much worse off than we already are, and as an LLC our personal assets should be safe, but still - banks look at your assets, they call it collateral. They must know something we don't...
I've never actually owned a business before. None of us have. I believe we have the skills and the drive to do it though. And we have people rooting for us, people with influence, and people with knowledge. I have to keep thinking about the positives and believe that we can overcome everything else.
Well... it's time to start thinking about the pitch. If we can convince the bank that we have customers, I think we'll get the loan. At least I get a positive impression from the banker I spoke with. So now, it's time to convince some customers.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
130 - Dreams
Sometimes I look at other people's lives and they seem to have it all. I know they don't, well - most of them, but you know how it is... you have perceptions and misconceptions and they are probably based on things in your own subconscious. We all have our struggles.
All I really want is a life where I have a job that doesn't crush my soul, a home that I can share with my friends and family, and time to enjoy it. A lot of that centers around the kitchen because I love to cook - won't make a career of it, but certainly enjoy entertaining. I miss having a kitchen, although I've never really had a large one. I miss throwing dinner parties. I miss hanging out with people.
Worked more on the business plan today. Getting very close to have a first draft ready for a couple of proofreaders to review. Basically waiting on insurance quotes, and have a couple of sections left to tackle... I saved the ones I was least excited about for last. I probably shouldn't have, but I did.
Will get to see my parents, and my friend Stacy soon. Our friends Chris and Raquelle will also be in the area soon. Very excited to see them and discuss the business, they're cool people and we've all been trying to figure out where to go from here, searching for something that gets us out from under other people's thumbs. We seem to have similar hopes and dreams and I think we'll work well together. And even though I'm not happy about the reason, since it's because my grandmother had a stroke, I can't say I'm not happy that I'll get to spend a little more time with my family over the next couple of months.
So that's life in a nutshell. The wind never stops, the sunny days are rare, and in a couple of weeks the scenery will change.
P.S. Cranberry wine is good. I'm liking the fruity wines: muscadine, lemon, orange, cranberry. Strawberry and blueberry are pretty good too, but not my faves. I'll probably never be a wine snob at this rate, because I can't tell you what's what beyond pinot grigio tasting of limes. For some reason I remember that out of everything I learned on one wine tour.
All I really want is a life where I have a job that doesn't crush my soul, a home that I can share with my friends and family, and time to enjoy it. A lot of that centers around the kitchen because I love to cook - won't make a career of it, but certainly enjoy entertaining. I miss having a kitchen, although I've never really had a large one. I miss throwing dinner parties. I miss hanging out with people.
Worked more on the business plan today. Getting very close to have a first draft ready for a couple of proofreaders to review. Basically waiting on insurance quotes, and have a couple of sections left to tackle... I saved the ones I was least excited about for last. I probably shouldn't have, but I did.
Will get to see my parents, and my friend Stacy soon. Our friends Chris and Raquelle will also be in the area soon. Very excited to see them and discuss the business, they're cool people and we've all been trying to figure out where to go from here, searching for something that gets us out from under other people's thumbs. We seem to have similar hopes and dreams and I think we'll work well together. And even though I'm not happy about the reason, since it's because my grandmother had a stroke, I can't say I'm not happy that I'll get to spend a little more time with my family over the next couple of months.
So that's life in a nutshell. The wind never stops, the sunny days are rare, and in a couple of weeks the scenery will change.
P.S. Cranberry wine is good. I'm liking the fruity wines: muscadine, lemon, orange, cranberry. Strawberry and blueberry are pretty good too, but not my faves. I'll probably never be a wine snob at this rate, because I can't tell you what's what beyond pinot grigio tasting of limes. For some reason I remember that out of everything I learned on one wine tour.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
129 - It's Windy Again
Here I sit, listening to the wind blow... feeling the RV shake... holy cow... this is worse than ever. I think I actually felt a little lift under the RV this time. One of my friends was grousing about 70 mph winds in Austin this afternoon... I think we're getting them here now. I won't miss this. Not one little bit. In fact, I'd like to sleep some time tonight, but I'm afraid to, I'm too nervous. No one warned us about this kind of thing with an RV... Yeah, I'm a little freaked out... and that's putting it mildly. It doesn't help that the power has cut out a couple of times, I admit I'm still a little scarred by my last experience.... I flipped the breakers off for a little while.
We're heading out in about three weeks, to Mississippi, for a couple of months. Don't know what is going to happen after that. Everything is up in the air. Literally almost everything. Before we go though, my friend and her kids are going to come for a visit, and I will get to see my parents as well. I know I just saw them all, but it's always nice to see them again, and I appreciate that they make the effort.
I feel like we're on the cusp of making a change for the better. We have finally identified a business that suits us and seems profitable. I'm in the midst of writing a business plan (daunting), we visited a potential business location, we are talking to banks and realtors and I feel like we are very close to having things figured out. It's something we love, something that seems suited to the current political climate, something that seems like a great venture. It's scary, I hate taking out loans, I don't know if we can qualify, there is a lot do before we even know if we will be able to do it. The business plan says we should be okay, but it's all smoke and mirrors, pure conjecture. Sorry to be so cryptic, not ready to put it out there just yet.
Anyway, in some ways I'm looking forward to being in a house again (MS). It's not my house, but it's space. With space I can make bread, I can make pasta, I will have a real oven. Yes, it's food that I'm most excited about.
We've fallen off our diet plan and haven't quite gotten back on. Tomorrow that changes. We're not going full tilt back on the The Plan, but we are going to eat healthier home-cooked meals. Really the only places we've eaten since we've been back are the Thai restaurant we love, and the onsite cafe. The woman who runs the Thai restaurant is so amazing. She gave us a different kind of sake this time, a special sake she said, and then talked to us for almost half an hour about starting a business. I don't know what makes us special, but I appreciate that she sees it in us. It's interesting to learn from people and I like hearing what they have to say.
Okay, this blog entry sucks, but dammit this wind is jarring... I'm going to try to watch tv and drink some wine and forget about it...
We're heading out in about three weeks, to Mississippi, for a couple of months. Don't know what is going to happen after that. Everything is up in the air. Literally almost everything. Before we go though, my friend and her kids are going to come for a visit, and I will get to see my parents as well. I know I just saw them all, but it's always nice to see them again, and I appreciate that they make the effort.
I feel like we're on the cusp of making a change for the better. We have finally identified a business that suits us and seems profitable. I'm in the midst of writing a business plan (daunting), we visited a potential business location, we are talking to banks and realtors and I feel like we are very close to having things figured out. It's something we love, something that seems suited to the current political climate, something that seems like a great venture. It's scary, I hate taking out loans, I don't know if we can qualify, there is a lot do before we even know if we will be able to do it. The business plan says we should be okay, but it's all smoke and mirrors, pure conjecture. Sorry to be so cryptic, not ready to put it out there just yet.
Anyway, in some ways I'm looking forward to being in a house again (MS). It's not my house, but it's space. With space I can make bread, I can make pasta, I will have a real oven. Yes, it's food that I'm most excited about.
We've fallen off our diet plan and haven't quite gotten back on. Tomorrow that changes. We're not going full tilt back on the The Plan, but we are going to eat healthier home-cooked meals. Really the only places we've eaten since we've been back are the Thai restaurant we love, and the onsite cafe. The woman who runs the Thai restaurant is so amazing. She gave us a different kind of sake this time, a special sake she said, and then talked to us for almost half an hour about starting a business. I don't know what makes us special, but I appreciate that she sees it in us. It's interesting to learn from people and I like hearing what they have to say.
Okay, this blog entry sucks, but dammit this wind is jarring... I'm going to try to watch tv and drink some wine and forget about it...
Saturday, February 9, 2013
128 - Things I learned today
1. The curvy, hilly roads that are terrifying in the truck are kind of fun in the Mini.
2. People on the other end of the mic at a drivethru don't care if you're there or not... you can sit there for a couple of minutes without be acknowleged.
3. Trying on clothes is demoralizing.
4. Having a group of bikers gawk at your car as you drive by can turn your whole day around.
5. Being in a room with music is cool. Hearing music from afar sucks. I hate the sound and feel of bass. It brings back my apartment-living days.
And I have a great business idea. Amazing business idea. But I can't share it on the blog. You'll have to wait. But it's awesome. And I have a potential investor.
And we found a house that is feasible. It's owner finance. It's in TN. We really like it. We really want it.
2. People on the other end of the mic at a drivethru don't care if you're there or not... you can sit there for a couple of minutes without be acknowleged.
3. Trying on clothes is demoralizing.
4. Having a group of bikers gawk at your car as you drive by can turn your whole day around.
5. Being in a room with music is cool. Hearing music from afar sucks. I hate the sound and feel of bass. It brings back my apartment-living days.
And I have a great business idea. Amazing business idea. But I can't share it on the blog. You'll have to wait. But it's awesome. And I have a potential investor.
And we found a house that is feasible. It's owner finance. It's in TN. We really like it. We really want it.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
127 - Uh-huh
Gained 0.2 lbs today, but I did have soda yesterday. I know. I'm a bad person. But I didn't gain more than 0.5 lbs, so I know it's okay to drink soda. For me. You do what you want to do. Mike experienced a similar gain, but he had to eat on the road so it was expected. Could also be that we drank water later than we're supposed to... we drank what we're supposed to, but there is a ten hour period in there where you stop before bed and then sleep. So I'm still happy with the results. I was still drinking water until 11 pm.
I'm so proud of my baby. He's got the difficult task of cooking in a hotel room, but he is determined, and when he sets his mind to something... watch out. Anyway, armed only with a George Foreman grill, a spork, and one of his "pocket" knives, he made this (I supplied the cheese, hahaha):
Screened in porch
This door leads outside... no lock... no bolt... Not that I've felt unsafe here, but I am a door locker. Not a window licker. A door locker.
Condo porch. The have Swiss Alp looking buildings of four, two on the first floor, two on the second floor. They gave me a key to a second floor condo.
My girl, Scout... just down those stairs... so nice to have her back.
I'm so proud of my baby. He's got the difficult task of cooking in a hotel room, but he is determined, and when he sets his mind to something... watch out. Anyway, armed only with a George Foreman grill, a spork, and one of his "pocket" knives, he made this (I supplied the cheese, hahaha):
While I, with a kitchen, a pot, two pans, a cutting board and lots of cleanup to do afterward... made this:
In my defense, the couch cushion leans a little to the left and I didn't know we were taking photos.
I'm also supposed to have a beet and carrot salad on there but I just couldn't stomach it today. It's literally beets and carrots, I usually shred them and add some lime juice and it tastes okay, but it's a lot of work and the payoff isn't so good. If I had my food processor with me I might have tried, but alas, space is limited and yet again... what I need is... in storage. I had a salad for lunch so I decided to just keep some of the cheese (in the amount that I'm allowed) off to the side instead of putting it all on my zucchini as suggested... because really, cheese on zucchini is a little weird to me. And my point is... I could have subbed a salad for the CBS, but... I didn't want to. So there.
Giving myself time to digest and then I'm having my wine and chocolate. Probably going to town tomorrow to get more wine. I have a ton here, but she wants us to drink reds and I'm a white girl. Yeah. In every way a white girl. This is a really tasty red though, and after I drink tonight's glass, it's gone... so you see... I NEED more. Luckily the vinter is just down the road... a ways... a piece... she's a piece down the road...
So the other exciting thing I did today was tour the cabins versus lake homes versus condos so that I can give my friends and family an idea of where they would stay should they come to visit. The cabins are not bad... a vast improvement to the ones in Florida for sure, they're like an efficiency in layout, no door to the bedroom. The lakehouses... I wouldn't stay in one of those unless I had nowhere else to go... they felt like a thin shelled egg, and while the front door locked... there was a door leading out the back that didn't. WTF? I had originally thought those would be the way to go, but they have absolutely nothing going for them other than proximity to the cafe. The condos are where it's at. That's where I would recommend staying, but I'm a creature of comfort if I have a choice. So here are a bunch of pictures.
The cabin:
Screened in porch
Lake house... no view of the lake...
This door leads outside... no lock... no bolt... Not that I've felt unsafe here, but I am a door locker. Not a window licker. A door locker.
Condo porch. The have Swiss Alp looking buildings of four, two on the first floor, two on the second floor. They gave me a key to a second floor condo.
My girl, Scout... just down those stairs... so nice to have her back.
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